Summer Cellulite and Release of Part Two of the Trilogy

Hi, I'm Brute! 

Here comes summer and cellulite recognition. I've hidden it from myself for almost a year—until I was forced to try on green crew shorts at Target.  The mirror in the dressing room was all the way to the floor! But my old arthritic Maltese Brute guarantees me that he won't be embarrassed by my legs as long as I take him along.
Escaping once again from the shameful memory of the sociopath Muslim romance carried out secretly in my Hollywood basement, I find myself—well, heck, I drove myself up here two weeks ago—once again in  the forest of my innocent youth. I applied, was viciously interviewed by park rangers, and was given a summer job at the lake. It isn't the eight dollars an hour that enticed me, but the chance to wear an official Regional Park beige mini-ranger shirt.
It is here among the pot-bellied red necks that I hope to find romance, a final romance to cleanse me of the pretend fantasy of spiritual sexuality brought to me by my own personal Aladdin.

And I've been told I look HOT in my uniform!

Be good to yourselves.

Juliet

PS  Part Two of THE MUSLIM ROMANCE TRILOGY: Jihad Honeymoon in Hollywood; Not Without My Dogs  (The subtitle really pisses off the cat) is available for your consumption on Amazon, B&N, etc., in hard, soft, and Kindle, e-book.
Reading Parts One and Parts Two will prepare you to:

audition, audition, audition and never give up and land on General Hospital; online date wisely; drive lookie-loos up and over the Hollywood Hills and close the deal on million dollar compounds; dress for sexual success; color your own hair with professional precision—no more brown smudges on your forehead from the salon (this alone will save you $50 a month); perform your miserable stand-up story at the Comedy Store and get laughs; accurately answer the question "Is Allah the same god as Jesus's Dad?"; control your texting anger when dealing with a sociopath during heated times of national security; park your car for days at a time in Hollywood without getting a ticket; walk on eggs and keep your love life secreted from your shamed family; restore a vintage cabin in the woods on a fifty-thousand dollar budget!; and dress a carpeted basement for the best, yet the cruelest, romance you will ever shake your finger at.