I WILL NOT BE CENSORED!

Dear Visitor, who just may be a lovely lady on the brink of madness,


Current date: July 11, 2016

I have not been writing in this blog, because upon the release of Part Two of THE MUSLIM ROMANCE TRILOGY, Jihad Honeymoon in Hollywood; Not Without My Dogs in May of 2013, I began blogging in the webpage sold to me by my own self-publisher, Abbott Press.

As of April, 2016, www.julietmontagueauthor.com has been hastily taken down by Abbott Press.

When they received the manuscript for the final book in the trilogy, all hell broke loose in Indiana.

Please visit my Amazon author page to catch up on the vile news. After publishing Parts One and Two of the trilogy, Abbott Press "got religion" and has removed my books from print-on-demand sales. There you will find a few used editions, but the e-books are not available.

Soon to be released anew on Amazon through CreateSpace, which shall give me complete control of my work, Part Three: The Arab Sprung, While Muslims Sleep in the White House. 

www.amazon.com/author/julietmontague

Stay vigil and protect your hearts. Do not date a Muslim man, even though he graduated with honors from UCLA.

Talk soon,

Juliet

Summer Cellulite and Release of Part Two of the Trilogy

Hi, I'm Brute! 

Here comes summer and cellulite recognition. I've hidden it from myself for almost a year—until I was forced to try on green crew shorts at Target.  The mirror in the dressing room was all the way to the floor! But my old arthritic Maltese Brute guarantees me that he won't be embarrassed by my legs as long as I take him along.
Escaping once again from the shameful memory of the sociopath Muslim romance carried out secretly in my Hollywood basement, I find myself—well, heck, I drove myself up here two weeks ago—once again in  the forest of my innocent youth. I applied, was viciously interviewed by park rangers, and was given a summer job at the lake. It isn't the eight dollars an hour that enticed me, but the chance to wear an official Regional Park beige mini-ranger shirt.
It is here among the pot-bellied red necks that I hope to find romance, a final romance to cleanse me of the pretend fantasy of spiritual sexuality brought to me by my own personal Aladdin.

And I've been told I look HOT in my uniform!

Be good to yourselves.

Juliet

PS  Part Two of THE MUSLIM ROMANCE TRILOGY: Jihad Honeymoon in Hollywood; Not Without My Dogs  (The subtitle really pisses off the cat) is available for your consumption on Amazon, B&N, etc., in hard, soft, and Kindle, e-book.
Reading Parts One and Parts Two will prepare you to:

audition, audition, audition and never give up and land on General Hospital; online date wisely; drive lookie-loos up and over the Hollywood Hills and close the deal on million dollar compounds; dress for sexual success; color your own hair with professional precision—no more brown smudges on your forehead from the salon (this alone will save you $50 a month); perform your miserable stand-up story at the Comedy Store and get laughs; accurately answer the question "Is Allah the same god as Jesus's Dad?"; control your texting anger when dealing with a sociopath during heated times of national security; park your car for days at a time in Hollywood without getting a ticket; walk on eggs and keep your love life secreted from your shamed family; restore a vintage cabin in the woods on a fifty-thousand dollar budget!; and dress a carpeted basement for the best, yet the cruelest, romance you will ever shake your finger at.

January 10, 2013

It's been a long, weary year. I officially stopped crying myself to sleep over the sociopath in June, 2012, when I found myself excited over a cause! The Election Saga of 2012 swept me off my feet and took me away from my writing for too long a time. Unfortunately, the election slammed me back down onto the dirty sidewalk, but I have risen again.

I had to write it; I was destined to write it; so I did. THE YEAR I LEARNED TO TEXT; Why Am I Having Sex with a Muslim in My Basement? Thank you to my readers around the globe for cheering me on and praising my voice with no judgments.

My Muslim lover spoke of many things. One oracle of advice he spat at me: You will learn a lot from me. Ah, yes, I have; How to deal with the narcissistic personality. Do not spar with him, do not question him, do not confront him. Somehow he will always turn the tables over onto your caring heart.
Stay still, stay away, stay strong. And remember, he's not really all that cute!

The sequel is on my kitchen table waiting for instructions from my publisher. The new title: JIHAD HONEYMOON IN HOLLYWOOD; Another Sexual Romp Through the Qu'ran.

I have much to share. We women need to talk. If your girlfriends are sick and tired of your complaints about your "boyfriend," write to me. I shall take it all in with no judgments. I know the pain of stupidity, the thrill of chemical attraction, and the hope of changing an asshole!

Take care of yourself.

Juliet

Some thoughts after a rainy St. Patrick's day. While, as legend has it, St. Paddy drove the snakes out of Ireland, the news is that the Muslims are now driving the Irish out of Ireland. They are also driving the Australians out of Australia, the French out of France, and the English out of England. This may seem like an urban legend to us in California, where the Mexicans are driving us out of Los Angeles.
And they are driving us out without even having a driver's license.

My attempt at boiling the brisket to fall-away tenderness failed last night.  Tonight it should be perfect after languishing in tupperware under parsley potatoes and soaked green cabbage.

Off for a walk before the rain starts again.

Book Soup on Sunset Strip has confirmed that they have two of my books still in stock, THE YEAR I LEARNED TO TEXT; Why Am I Having Sex with a Muslim in My Basement? There will be matching bookmarks for you, also.  So what are you waiting for? Get over there.

Be good to yourselves.

Juliet

Be afraid; be smart; investigate!

Dear Sweet, Loving, and the Broken Hearted,

Never been to his place?
He's always late?
His eyes as black as coal and look right into you?
Prince Charming?
This is Los Angeles and they are here: Persian Muslim maniac or just plain sociopath, they are out to use you, exploit you, and turn you into a pile of mush!

Stop the invasion!  Lock the door, cuddle up alone on your couch, and start reading.

THE YEAR I LEARNED TO TEXT; Why am I having sex with a Muslim in My Basement?
available at your local bookstore (Chevalier's in Larchmont Village, Book Soup on Sunset Blvd, McCabe Booksellers in Crestline) and on-line at Amazon, Barnes and Noble, Xlibris.

Working on the sequel here: Honeymoon in Hollywood; Not Without My Dogs, coming in May, 2012; more sadistic adventures of Julie and Ali.

Apparently, these men really like to upset good, kind, sweet and honest women!  DO NOT BOND SEXUALLY WITH THEM; You will suffer Post Traumatic Stress Syndrome when you finally get the strength to send them away permanently.  You will forever feel guilty that you just didn't love them enough, that you were not patient enough, that you were not pretty enough.
I say enough is enough is enough.
Now go out there and be beautiful!

www.theyearilearnedtotext.com

Juliet